I know Jesus is on the side of the Republicans. We get told that all the time by the pious people who praise Jesus while cutting food stamps and
health care for poor kids. These are the same ones who believe that the rich should be much, much richer while the poor will learn a lot by starving. And they are also teaching a lesson to those who can’t afford health insurance. Constant pain and fear of death can be a real teacher.

Now I don’t read the bible much. Pretty much anymore all I read are the snippets that get posted on the internet and in letters to the editor that claim Jesus condemns this or that. One of the last things I did read was the Sermon on the Mount. From what I remember, that thing is way out of whack with today’s new and improved Jesus.

As I recall, the Sermon on the Mount was a series “blessed are” statements called beatitudes. Many said that the poor or sick or those who share were blessed. Well, that sure doesn’t line up with the work they are having Jesus do in today’s world. So it will certainly be much easier to change the Sermon than to change the world. So let’s see if we can update that moldy, out-of-date sermon.

Just for review, here is that out of date list:
Blessed are:
- the poor in spirit: for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
- they that mourn: for they shall be comforted.
- the meek: for they shall inherit the earth.
- they which do hunger and thirst after righteousness: for they shall be filled.
- the merciful: for they shall obtain mercy.
- the pure in heart: for they shall see God.
- the peacemakers: for they shall be called the children of God.
- they which are persecuted for righteousness’ sake: for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

How could anything be more out of date and out of touch with reality as Republicans see it? Let’s see if we can’t make them a little more in touch with the problems of American society as seen through the red glasses:

- Blessed are those who cut programs for the poor, for theirs is donations from the rich.
- Blessed are those who attack homosexuals, for they shall destroy those they target.
- Blessed are those who blame our problems on the immigrant, for they shall be believed.
- Blessed are those who deny health care to the poor for theirs is donations from the corporations.
- Blessed are those who blame women, for they shall gain control of women.
- Blessed are the rich, for they shall own the earth.
- Blessed are those who destroy the public trust for they shall privatize society and reap big profits.
- Blessed are those who control the message for they will keep the people from realizing what happened.

There, I think that is probably in line with where the Republican party wants Jesus to lead us.

Oops – forgot the environment. Hope they won’t mind an extra beatitude:
- Blessed are those who pillage the earth for soon nothing else will matter.