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Humor

Sunday Funday: Hey! The Sun Ain’t Movin’! Edition

Sunday morning before church cheesecake Mike Luckovich, the Atlanta Journal-Constitution

Sunday morning before church cheesecake
Mike Luckovich, the Atlanta Journal-Constitution

I’m warning you – the sun is stuck. If it don’t move pretty soon, it’s going to get hot. I mean hot!

Were you paying attention? It was one busy week.

1) The car from the Dukes of Hazzard tv show will no longer be produced with a confederate flag on it. What is the name of that car?

2) “Interpretive jiggery-pokery” is how Scalia termed the majority opinion in what SCOTUS case this week?

3) There are 3 countries on the North American continent. Which one(s) do not have marriage equality?

4) President Obama took some undue criticism for saying a bad word. What bad word did he say?

5) The grandson of preacher Billy Graham resigned his pastor position at a Florida church amid charges of what?

6) What young man apologized for the lives he had taken at his sentencing hearing last week?

7) What two Iowa politicians had to deal with contributions from the Conservative Citizens Council leader last week?

8) Doctors in Adelaide, Australia warned women that what fashionable clothing could cause nerve and muscle damage?

9) Wikileaks claimed they had proof that the NSA spied on the last three presidents of what?

10) A California judge dismissed a ballot initiative that proposed to do what to people who engaged in gay sex?

11) An almost perfect storm of fasting during Ramadan, power outages and what act of nature resulted in the death of 800+ people in Karachi, Pakistan since Sunday?

12) What Spanish language network dropped coverage of the Miss USA pageant after remarks by Miss USA part owner Donald Trump?

13) Donald Featherstone died this week. While you may not recognize his name, you will certainly recognize his most famous creation. What did Donald Featherstone create?

14) Hard to believe it has been a century plus a year since the assassination of this man triggered what would become known as World War I?

15) His state is falling apart under his leadership, so which governor thought it a good time to announce a run for president last week?

16) Take a guess how Steve King felt about the SCOTUS ruling on marriage equality?

17) Thursday was a good day for what industry in the stock market?

18) Taxis have gone on strike in France, snarling traffic to protest the presence of what competitor?

19) A bad week for the Palins. Grandma Palin was finally severed as a commentator for what network while daughter Bristol announced a second unmarried pregnancy?

20) Japan announced they were lifting a 67 year old ban on what activity to the delight of the nation’s night clubs?

BTW – there are many more suits against the ACA working their way through the judicial system. Look for another one to wiggle its way up to the SCOTUS again next year. Killing the ACA anyway they can is what Republicans do.

Answers:

1) the General Lee

2) King v. Burwell or the ACA case

3) none . All three now have marriage equality

4) the ’N’ word during an interview with Marc Maron

5) having an affair while both he and the woman were married to different partners

6) Dzjokar Tsarnaev (Boston Bomber)

7) Steve King and Joni Ernst

8) tight jeans.

9) France

10) kill them with bullets to the head or anything else that was convenient

11) heat wave with temps up to 113 degrees

12) Univision. Seems Trump made quite disparaging remarks about Hispanics when he announced his presidential run.

13) the pink lawn flamingo

14) the archduke Ferdinand

15) Bobby Jindal

16) if you said he was against it, you would be right.

17) for profit hospitals. The ACA ruling saved their butts

18) Uber

19) Fox (not) News

20) public dancing

Sometimes We Need To Laugh

Been a really bad week for those who believe that America can be what it claims to be. As with many here, the events of the week have been roiling in my mind making me wonder if it is worth the fight. Murder in a mall in the heartland, race driver mass murder in South Carolina, politicians in Washington giving away America’s sovereignty in something called the TPP, all in all a bad week.

Sometimes, we just need to step back and get away from the daily grind and have a laugh.

In that vein, I stole a post from democraticunderground which did just that. A hat tip to poster Madokie for this gem of a post:

For those of us who remember, for a moment of levity. Enjoy

These great questions and answers are from the days when Hollywood Squares’ game show responses were spontaneous, not scripted, as they are now!

Q. Paul, what is a good reason for pounding meat?

A. Paul Lynde: Loneliness!

(The audience laughed so long and so hard it took up almost 15 minutes of the show!)

Q. Do female frogs croak?

A. Paul Lynde: If you hold their little heads under water long enough.

Q. If you’re going to make a parachute jump, at least how high should you be

A. Charley Weaver: Three days of steady drinking should do it.

Q. True or False, a pea can last as long as 5,000 years…

A. George Gobel: Boy, it sure seems that way sometimes.

Q. You’ve been having trouble going to sleep. Are you probably a man or a woman?

A.. Don Knotts: That’s what’s been keeping me awake.

Q. According to Cosmopolitan, if you meet a stranger at a party and you think that he is attractive, is it okay to come out and ask him if he’s married?

A.. Rose Marie: No wait until morning.

Q. Which of your five senses tends to diminish as you get older?

A. Charley Weaver: My sense of decency..

Q. What are ‘Do It,’ ‘I Can Help,’ and ‘I Can’t Get Enough’?

A. George Gobel: I don’t know, but it’s coming from the next apartment.

Q. As you grow older, do you tend to gesture more or less with your hands while talking?

A. Rose Marie: You ask me one more growing old question Peter, and I’ll give you a gesture you’ll never forget.

Q. Paul, why do Hell’s Angels wear leather?

A. Paul Lynde: Because chiffon wrinkles too easily.

Q.. Charley, you’ve just decided to grow strawberries. Are you going to get any during the first year?

A.. Charley Weaver: Of course not, I’m too busy growing strawberries.

Q. In bowling, what’s a perfect score?

A. Rose Marie: Ralph, the pin boy.

Q. During a tornado, are you safer in the bedroom or in the closet?

A. Rose Marie: Unfortunately Peter, I’m always safe in the bedroom.

Q. Can boys join the Camp Fire Girls?

A.. Marty Allen: Only after lights out.

Q. When you pat a dog on its head he will wag his tail. What will a goose do?

A. Paul Lynde: Make him bark?

Q. If you were pregnant for two years, what would you give birth to?

A. Paul Lynde: Whatever it is, it would never be afraid of the dark..

Q. According to Ann Landers, is there anything wrong with getting into the habit of kissing a lot of people?

A. Charley Weaver: It got me out of the army.

Q. Back in the old days, when Great Grandpa put horseradish on his head, what was he trying to do?

A. George Gobel: Get it in his mouth.

Q. Who stays pregnant for a longer period of time, your wife or your elephant?

A. Paul Lynde: Who told you about my elephant?

Q. Jackie Gleason recently revealed that he firmly believes in them and has actually seen them on at least two occasions. What are they?

A. Charley Weaver: His feet.

Q. According to Ann Landers, what are two things you should never do in bed?

A. Paul Lynde: Point and laugh

WE DON’T STOP LAUGHING BECAUSE WE GROW OLD,
WE GROW OLD BECAUSE WE STOP LAUGHING

Sunday Funday Father’s Day Edition

no, no guys it's Fathers Day. You guys are up in a couple of weeks

no, no guys it’s Fathers Day. You guys are up in a couple of weeks

Well, well, well, Dad. Pull up a chair and sharpen the brain, time to impress the kids with how smart you are.

Have you been paying attention?

1) What is the shortest day of the year in Sydney, Australia?

2) The Pentagon let it be known this week that it was considering putting heavy weaponry in what trouble spot of the world?

3) Donald Trump announced his presidential campaign Tuesday. In that announcement he said he would build a fence on the border with Mexico. How would he pay for that fence?

4) The TPP passed the House last week. How many Democrats voted for the TPP?

5) The Catholic arch-bishop and his top deputy resigned amid abuse coverup charges in what state bordering Iowa?

6) Quietly last week what western hemisphere country had marriage equality legalized through its Supreme Court decisions?

7) In SCOTUS news this week putting the confederate flag on Texas license plates was not allowed. Who was the swing vote in this 5 – 4 decision?

8) What is the name of the church in Charleston, SC where 9 people were murdered in a racially motivated attack?

9) What pharmaceutical chain paid $1.9 billion to take over Target’s in store drug business?

10) Even though he is Catholic, Jeb Bush is not going to let what guy tell him anything about climate change?

11) The Treasury Department had what surprise announcement about currency this week?

12) The California Labor commission found that drivers for what cab company were actually employees and not independent contractors?

13) Friday was June 19th. This date is also known as what, especially in Texas?

14) Rachel Dolezal got her 15 minutes of fame last week. Why?

15) Senator Joni Ernst had to defend her vote against a bill that would address what problem in the military?

16) The Iowa Supreme Court in a bit of a surprise ruled what unconstitutional Friday?

17) The FDA has set 2018 (3 years) as the goal to rid foods of what substance?

18) The FCC flexes its muscle. They fined AT&T how much for slowing down the internet to its customers after promising unlimited data?

19) Fox News claimed the shooting in Charleston was aimed at what group, despite the message the shooter left that it was racially driven?

20) Bill did a lot of damage this week. Who or what was Bill?

Sports BONUS: Major League baseball cancelled 60 million online all-star votes after members of what team were leading in 8 of the 9 hitting positions?

OOPS! just read that Father’s Day is the most dangerous day on the roads in Iowa. Be Safe!

Answers:

1) today – the first day of winter in the southern hemisphere

2) The Baltics and Eastern Europe

3) He’d make Mexico pay for it. Yes he would

4) 28 more than enough to have stopped it.

5) Minnesota, specifically the St. Paul diocese

6) Mexico

7) Clarence Thomas joined Breyer, Kagan, Sotomayer and Ginsburg (words that will probably never be written again)

8) Mother Emmanuel AME

9) CVS

10) the Pope. Jeb didn’t cotton to the Climate Change encyclical

11) in 2020 the $10 bill will feature a woman’s image on the face

12) Uber

13) Juneteenth – the date that Texas learned the civil war was over and slaves had been freed.

14) She claimed to be black, though her parents are white. She was the head of the Spokane, Wash. NAACP

15) sexual assault

16) the ban on telemedia abortions

17) trans fats

18) $100 million

19) Christians. Presidential candidate Lyndsey Graham parroted this claim later on The View

20) A tropical storm that dumped huge amounts of rain from Houston to Boston

BONUS: Kansas City Royals. What? No A-Rod?

Happy Father’s day and be careful.

Sunday Funday: Here Come The Rains

nor does it keep it out of the basement

nor does it keep it out of the basement

Climate change comes to the basements and crawl spaces of Iowa homes. Where once we might have a gully washer every decade or so we now have several a year. Where once the ground would be thirsty for the water of a gully washer, now it is saturated with the water from a train of storms. Here’s hoping you stay dry. Here’s some sympathy and empathy if you don’t.

Were you paying attention?

1) Hillary Clinton gave a kickoff address at Roosevelt Park yesterday. Which Roosevelt was this park named for?

2) A crowd of one later swelled to 4 to see what presidential candidate in Hamlin, Iowa?

3) Folk singer Ronnie Gilbert died last week. She and Pete Seeger were members of what 1950s folksinging quartet?

4) Today is Flag Day. How far back does the celebration of Flag Day go?

5) What if you gave a party and no one showed up? What major presidential campaign event was canceled Friday when little interest was shown by the various campaigns?

6) The G7 nations, meeting in Bavaria, agreed to phase out what by the year 2100?

7) The FDA approved human clinical trials for a vaccine for what disease that affects the body’s ability to handle sugar and starches?

8) After a bomb scare Tuesday, what nerve center of Washington, DC news was evacuated?

9) Eric Casebolt resigned as a police officer in McKinney, Texas Tuesday. He became famous on the internet last weekend for his actions in responding to a complaint about what?

10) Drivers in Iowa will now be able to renew their drivers licenses where?

11) Radio host Diane Rehm asked what presidential candidate about his non-existent dual citizenship of Israel and the US?

12) South Korea is is being super aggressive in combating what contagious disease?

13) The judge in the case against what former major politician admitted to donating to his campaigns in the past?

14) It was reported last week that what now notorious family was in the headlines again for refusing a probe by child welfare services?

15) The Iowa Utilities Board issued a schedule for the conclusion of the Bakken pipeline decision. When is this decision scheduled to be made?

16) Republicans from what early primary state have asked Fox to change their debate format?

17) What major leader in the news business announced he would be stepping down as CEO?

18) Tomorrow is birthday #800 for what cornerstone document of modern democracies?

19) On June 16, 1963 what Russian became the first woman in space?

20) Shell Oil vessel Arctic Challenger is in transit to what area to resume oil and gas exploration?

Quote of the week:
“The problem is not that I don’t understand the global banking system. The problem for these guys is that I fully understand the system and I understand how they make their money. And that’s what they don’t like about me.” — Sen. Elizabeth Warren on Jamie Dimon’s recent comments “mansplaining” banking to her

Answers:

1) Franklin D.

2) Rick Santorum

3) The Weavers

4) June 14, 1777

5) The Republican Ames Straw Poll

6) use of fossil fuels.

7) type 1 diabetes

8) the White House Briefing Room

9) a pool party with mixed race attendees.

10) 24 computerized kiosks around the state set up in libraries and 24 hour retail businesses.

11) Bernie Sanders. Rehm was asking about an unsubstantiated internet rumor.

12) MERS (middle east respiratory syndrome)

13) Dennis Hastert

14) the Duggars

15) December 2015 or January 2016

16) New Hampshire. They want everyone included.

17) Ruppert Murdoch

18) the Magna Carta

19) Valentina Tereshkova – she is still alive

20) the Arctic

Sunday Funday – Solstice Starts?

iowa sunrise

These days when we want to know the times for the rise and setting of the sun, we just consult the old computer and voila! we have a we have a chart that tells us the sunrise and sunset of darn near anyplace on earth.

It wasn’t always that way. Ever think about all those folks in centuries back who were charged with tracking the comings and goings of old sol? Even then they would have the rise and set down to almost the very minute. How did they do that?

This time of year the sun seemed to stand still. That is what solstice means. For the next couple of weeks sunrise and sunset change little as it looks as though the sun is not moving. Things kick back into gear in early July. For a couple weeks enjoy the sun!

Were you paying attention?

1) No better time to leave your job than right after you get re-elected as the head dude. What international sports head announced he would step down Monday?

2) To hear Republicans tell it the economy is in the crapper. How many jobs were added in May according to the BLS?

3) In a similar vein, the USA has had job growth for 63 straight months. How many jobs have been created during those 63 months?

4) Interpol placed six men on their most wanted list this week. All of these men belonged to what suddenly notorious organization?

5) June 5, 1968 the second major assassination of 1968 took place. Who was killed?

6) As the Iowa legislature winds to a close, did they resolve the medical marijuana problem?

7) Following an incident last school year, administrators in what Iowa school district will be equipped with body camera next school year?

8) The US had a list of 4 countries that were “state sponsors of terrorism.” Now there are 3. Who got removed?

9) Two democrats announced they were running for president last week, bringing the announced total to 4. Who announced last week?

10) Talk about insensitive! What republican presidential candidate used Joe Biden as a joke at a fundraiser, just a few days after the death of Biden’s son?

11) A “kickoff event” on Roosevelt Island in New York City is planned by what candidate next Saturday?

12) Almost missed this historic event. June 1, 1967 the greatest rock and roll album ever was released. Name the album, please.

13) Feeling a bit insecure? What safety agency failed miserably in tests conducted to rate their effectiveness?

14) OOPSIE! Maybe the Pentagon needs more money. Pentagon officials announced that live anthrax had been sent accidentally to how many labs?

15) The heads of what clan got some soft ball questions from Fox’s Megyn Kelly in an interview last week?

16) The good news is the Patriot Act expired. The bad news is that it was replaced by what Orwellian sounding bill?

17) Speaking of jobs, how many total did the George W. Bush Administration account for in 8 years?

18) Reading, writing and revolvers. What state passed a law allowing concealed carry on college campuses?

19) Rick Santorum told Pope Francis to “leave science to the scientists.” What made this such an ironic comment?

20) Ruffling some Republican feathers this week, Hillary Clinton called for “automatic and universal” what?

Stupidest statement of the week (maybe we should start an award?) goes to Ted Cruz. This guy was cum laude from Princeton? Old Ted says that if JFK were alive today he would be a Republican. Really, he said that. Really he did. I guess it was based on tax cuts that JFK sponsored that gutted loopholes and actually increased taxes. Really, Teddy?

Answers:

1) Sepp Blatter of FIFA

2) 280,000

3) 12.6 million (btw Clinton added 30 million)

4) FIFA

5) RFK

6) nope – they ignored it so far.

7) Burlington

8) Cuba

9) Martin O’Malley and Lincoln Chaffee

10) Ted Cruz

11) Hillary Clinton

12) Sergeant Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band

13) the TSA missed 95% of planted objects

14) 52 labs in 18 states + D.C., Australia, Canada and South Korea

15) the Duggars – Jim Bob and Michelle

16) the Freedom Act.

17) -462,000

18) Texas. Of course it would be Texas

19) Pope Francis has a master’s degree in Chemistry. He is a scientist

20) voter registration

Bus Carrying Clowns Flips On Its Side

everybody on one side leads to accident

everybody on one side leads to accident

In a very unusual accident, a school bus carrying what appeared to be clowns on their way to some mutual appearance, flipped on its side. The driver and passengers were quickly examined at a local hospital and pronounced physically fit. There was some concern that many may have received a bump on their heads, based on their statements and actions following the tip over.

Driver Muhammed Garcia said the bus was moving quietly down the interstate as passengers slept. However, as they slowly woke up, each passenger seemed to ascertain their position on the bus relative to others and began to move to the right. One by one as they woke each tried to get further right than any of the others. In a short space of time all passengers were trying to push their way out of the right side of the bus. All the weight on one side caused the tip over.

Mr. Garcia said he tried several times to get the passengers back to their seats, but as soon as his back was turned, each once more rushed to the right. He could not give a reason for this action. “Strangest thing I have ever seen. Each clown insisted he was further to the right than any other clown. Then they would, in turn, try to run through the right side of the bus.”

The driver also noted that the passengers refused to wear the seat belts. The clown named Rick from Texas told a reporter that the gummint had no right to tell him what to do. All the other clowns agreed. When taken to the hospital for a quick checkup, many of the clowns refused to be helped until they were assured that the hospital was “100% private and not run by the gummint.”

As clowns were returned to the bus a pool of reporters had gathered. Clown Mike the Preacher claimed Obama had caused the bus to tip over with his policies that prevented buses from being built that could carry everyone sitting on the right. Clown Dead-eye Scott claimed the bus had been built by unions and was thus defective. Clown Brother Jebby claimed terrorists caused the accident. Clown Lady Lyndsey wanted troops sent in immediately.

As the bus was uprighted, Clown Donald the Red claimed he lost a major piece of his wardrobe, probably stolen by our illegal president. Suddenly many of the clowns spotted what was thought to be a red rat. Several unloaded the contents of their concealed carry guns into the object which turned out to be a red hairpiece. Clown Rick from Texas claimed the kill.

As passengers returned to the bus, Clown Rick of Foster Friess reminded all to believe in Jesus and their journey would proceed without problem. Clown Marco not Polo claimed Fidel Castro had coordinated the accident with ISIS. Clown Canada Cruz told some truly tasteless jokes which only he seemed to understand. Finally, Clown Randy Dandy summed it all up with this statement “Where are we? Who are these people? Why won’t anyone play with me? DAAAAD!”

Driver Garcia noted that after the bus was upright, seats on the left side of the bus were turned to face backwards. Thus when the half sitting on the left tried to move furthest to the right they would counter balance those on the right side of the bus when they tried to move furthest to the right. Mr. Garcia noted that the passengers seemed unable to tell if they were going forward, backward or standing still.

Passengers were scheduled for a joint appearance in Boone at noon today.

Sunday Funday – Weather, Weather, Weather Edition

tornado? save my mousey!

tornado? save my mousey!

If nothing else, the weather seems much more interesting than it used to be. Thousands dying in India from a horrendous heat wave. Meanwhile, folks are drowning in Texas. The tornado and what is now also monsoon season in Iowa is poised to start. It is almost as if the climate were changing. But if it were, wouldn’t our government be on top of it and warn the citizens?

Were you paying attention last week?

1) Which man recently in the news was the longest serving Republican Speaker of the House?

2) Following years of rumors of corruption, what sports body had many of its governing body indicted for corruption?

3) June 7th, 1965, the SCOTUS decided that citizens had the right to privacy and states could not ban the use of what product?

4) The Iowa State Legislature continues in overtime with the main sticking point being funding for what?

5) What was the final percentage margin in the Irish marriage equality referendum last week?

6) Josh Duggar made huge headlines last week. In response to his crimes being made public, Duggar resigned from his job with what organization?

7) Who are the finalists for this year’s NBA title?

8) What midwestern state with a Republican controlled legislature voted overwhelmingly to outlaw the death penalty last week?

9) What Texas senator who voted against aid for the northeast after superstorm Sandy, publicly asked for aid for flooded areas of Texas?

10) In presidential politics this week, 3 new hats were in the ring. Which one was the Democrat?

11) Gov. Scott Walker called what “just a cool thing” in defense of what law?

12) Australia formally removed the controversial tax on what products after the treasurer was confronted with a giant tampon?

13) In Iowa, Coventry, the only insurance provider for the ACA has filed for what percentage of a premium increase?

14) What winner of the Republican Iowa caucuses threw his hat in the ring this week?

15) FCC head Tom Wheeler announce he would seek a rule to allow help for poor folks in paying for what?

16) D-Day remembrance is this week. What US general was used as a decoy on D-Day to confuse the Nazis about where the invasion would take place?

17) Michael Sam, noted as being the first out gay football player to be drafted in the NFL, signed a professional contract with what team?

18) June 5th 1968. What major US political leader was assassinated?

19) Comcast backed off from acquiring Time-Warner under pressure. Now what company is taking a crack at taking over Time Warner?

20) According to the Des Moines Register, privatizing Medicaid in Iowa will raise administrative costs by what percent?

George Pataki was in the news this week. Who?

Answers:

1) Dennis Hastert

2) FIFA

3) birth control. The case of Griswold v. Connecticut

4) public schools

5) 62 – 38

6) Family Research Council

7) Cleveland and Golden State

8) Nebraska

9) Ted Cruz

10) Bernie Sanders. His official announcement in Burlington, Vermont

11) ultrasound vaginal probes to talk women out of abortions

12) feminine hygiene products

13) 18% – nice to have a monopoly

14) Rick Santorum (remember it took a few months before Santorum was declared the winner)

15) broadband access

16) Patton

18) RFK

19) Charter Communications

20) 300%. This is money that would be removed from paying for services

Sunday Funday – Indy 500 Edition

rushing home to do the quiz

rushing home to do the quiz

The Indy 500 may be the ultimate analogy for America these days. A bunch of guys driving round and round in a circle getting no place to see who can do it the fastest. All while a quarter of a million fans watch enraptured. Somewhat like a day in Washington, DC.

Were you paying attention last week? Lots of stuff happened.

1) Once again President Obama hit a nerve with an executive order this week. Obama issued an EO regulating what surplus items?

2) There are now 20 countries in the world that have legalized gay marriage. What is the most recent one?

3) She would like this all behind her as quickly as possible. Who is leading the call to have her emails released?

4) California has had what new disaster to deal with this past week?

5) Waco, Texas was the site of a major riot last weekend. Who were the participants?

6) Takata is a behind the scenes supplier of auto parts that we seldom hear of. They have been much in the news lately, however. Why?

7) Iowa is joining all 50 states in a lawsuit against phony charities that have been scamming donors in what particular area of charity?

8) Loretta Lynch starts big. On Wednesday, 5 of the world’s largest banks were fined for crimes concerning what financial chicanery?

9) What young Cuban man, who was briefly in the United Staes 16 years ago, has expressed interest in returning for a visit?

10) What city voted to raise the minimum wage in that city to $15/hour by 2020?

11) Fox News(?) announced they will use what method to cull the herd of presidential candidates for the debates they sponsor?

12) As many as 5000 people participated in demonstrations outside what company’s Oak Brook, Illinois HQ calling for a $15/hour wage?

13) Speaking in Iowa, what Republican presidential candidate said he would authorize torture in interrogation?

14) In another brilliant move, the Iowa House passed a bill last week to legalize what?

15) May 25th, 1787 in Philadelphia marked the beginning of what historical gathering?

16) Got $725 million? Then you could buy America’s biggest ranch that was put up for sale in what US state this week?

17) What notable retired last week?

18) The scion of what large notorious family made headlines this week in relation to child molestation charges?

19) Late Friday night, did the US Senate pass or not pass fast track negotiating authority for the President?

20) The nation’s largest food retailer surprised many when it called on its suppliers to do what this week?

Have a safe and sane holiday.

1) military hardware

2) Ireland by popular vote Friday

3) Hillary Clinton

4) a major oil spill off the Santa Barbara coast

5) biker gangs

6) They are the major supplier of air safety bag systems for cars. There has been huge recalls on their systems.

7) cancer charities

8) manipulating the value of world currencies

9) Elion Gonzalez

10) Los Angeles

11) the top 10 from an average of the 5 most recent opinion polls

12) McDonald’s

13) Rick Perry (surprised it wasn’t Jeb?)

14) fireworks

15) the Constitutional Convention

16) Texas of course

17) David Letterman

18) the Duggars

19) it passed (boo)

20) called on meat suppliers to use less antibiotics and allow more roaming area for their animals.

The cancer charities that were cited as a scam were: Cancer Fund of America, Children’s Cancer Fund of America, Cancer Support Services and The Breast Cancer Society (source: http://www.radioiowa.com/2015/05/19/iowa-part-of-national-lawsuit-against-phony-cancer-charities/)

Sunday Funday – Work In The Yard Edition

Republican candidates for president

Republican candidates for president

This is that small window in Iowa when it is not snowing nor is it 90+ degrees. The humidity hasn’t quite reached steam room level yet and the bugs haven’t yet reached their adulthood appetite for fresh blood. In short that space of time when you can mow, preen, prune, dig, plant and remove a winter’s worth of crap without being bundled to the hilt or eaten alive. Enjoy this brief period. It shall not last. There won’t be another such period until raking time in the fall.

The news just keeps coming fast ’n’ furious.

1) “Sure I would have invaded Iraq” (paraphrased) said what candidate for president when asked “If you knew then what you know now..?”

2) Aftershocks, some as high as 7.3, continue to rock what earthquake ravaged nation?

3) Seems like Pope Francis makes someone mad every week. Whose wrath did he incur this week when he announced a treaty with “the state of Palestine?”

4) Which country was declared Ebola free last week after 42 days without a new case of ebola?

5) Meanwhile the Pope seems to have picked up what famous fan who said he may return to Catholicism after meeting the Pope?

6) May 17, 1792 is a significant day in financial news. That day, merchants and brokers meeting on Wall Street established what?

7) May 17, 1954, the SCOTUS hands down a unanimous decision in Brown v. Board declaring ‘separate but equal’ unconstitutional. Who argued the case for the winning side?

8) What small town in Iowa was hit by a tornado last Sunday?

9) In a surprising survey on religious affiliation in America released by the Pew Research Center, Christianity lost nearly 8% while what group gained nearly 7%?

10) Long a target of GOP cuts, what transportation sector did House Republicans vote to cut just days after a fatal accident?

11) In a surprise to almost everyone, the Obama Administration gave consent to allow what company to begin exploratory oil drilling in the Arctic?

12) Memorial Day weekend will see the grand opening of a museum that will honor what late movie star from Winterset, Iowa?

13) Which Republican presidential candidate ruffled some Iowa political feathers when he announced he would skip what event this summer?

14) North Korea’s defense minister was executed by firing squad last week. What was his fatal offense?

15) The group looking to replace Andrew Jackson on the $20 bill with a woman has chosen the proposed replacement. Who is she?

16) Justice, finally. A work of art by what master, looted from a Jewish owner by the Nazis,was returned to the family of the original owner Friday?

17) Many progressives in Wisconsin welcomed the news that what former senator would run once more for his former seat?

18) The Pentagon (your tax dollars) paid teams from what sport up to $5.4 million for pre-game salutes to ‘local heroes’?

19) What notorious ambassador said Friday he would not seek the Republican nomination for President?

20) Which Republican presidential candidate called for ending the ACA and replacing it with care managed by an Apple watch app?

Some folks see shade trees. I see leaves to rake in the fall.

Answers:

1) Jeb Bush. Remember last week he said he’d seek out W for advice on the Middle East

2) Nepal

3) Israel

4) Liberia

5) Raul Castro, president of Cuba

6) The New York Stock Exchange

7) future SC Justice Thurgood Marsall

8) Lake City

9) the unaffiliated

10) Amtrak

11) Shell

12) John Wayne (born in Winterset as Marion Morrison)

13) Jeb Bush

14) dozing off during meetings. A sure cure for sleep apnea

15) Harriet Tubman

16) Matisse

17) Russ Feingold

18) NFL football

19) John Bolton

20) Jeb Bush – Jeb should be looking for an advisor after this week.

Sunday Funday – Mother’s Day Edition

Mother Jones one of America's great mothers

Mother Jones one of America’s great mothers

What can be said about mothers that hasn’t been said before? Pretty much each and every one of us has or had one. If your mother is still alive, treasure her. If she has passed on, here’s hoping you have fond memories. If you never knew your real mother, we hope there was someone who fulfilled that role and deserves your love.

Lots of news again this week! Here we go:

1) Once again there were presidential candidate announcements. What 3 people announced their candidacy during the week?

2) 70 years ago last Friday the world celebrated the end to what?

3) Somebody had a baby! At least someone so famous that it was world wide news. So who had the baby?

4) In Nebraska, a woman filed a lawsuit in federal district court against what group of people?

5) After getting a super sweetheart deal from Iowa, fertilizer manufacturer Orascom caused major concern when it laid off Iowa workers and tried to replace them with workers from where?

6) The first permanent English settlement was established in North America on May 14,1607. Do you remember the name of the settlement?

7) Energy companies in Alberta province in Canada (home of the Athabasca oil fields) braced for major changes after what liberal party swept elections Tuesday?

8) Which presidential candidate called for “nothing less than a full and equal path to citizenship” for Latinos at a campaign stop in Nevada?

9) Which presidential candidate submitted a bill to break up the “too big to fail” banks?

10) Jade Helm 15, ostensibly a military war exercise, is believed by some Texans to be an excuse to do what to Texas?

11) What part does Walmart play in the Jade Helm 15 conspiracy stories?

12) From late April, but recently reported. A man in Jacksonville, Florida was surprised and a bit put out when the local Bank of America refused to cash his check for how much money?

13) A bill greatly tightening what power of government to take land passed the Iowa senate this week?

14) Senate democrats and House Republicans in Iowa said they may have a compromise worked out for what major budget sticking point?

15) A Florida man and woman have been convicted of having public sex on a beach may be sentenced for up to how long in prison?

16) This man did deflate his balls claims the NFL. Who?

17) Despite poll predictions of a deadlocked electorate, voters in Britain gave a clear majority to what party?

18) Pres. Obama gave a major speech pushing the Trans Pacific Partnership at what company Friday?

19) One sidelight of the British election: Which party won all but a couple of seats from Scotland?

20) At a small fundraiser this week Jeb Bush surprised many by saying that on the Middle East “If you want to know who I listen to for advice, it’s him.” Who was he speaking of?

BTW it is Mother’s Day and therefore time for our annual Mother’s Day tornado outbreak. Stay safe, all.

Answers:

1) Ben Carson, Mike Huckabee and Carly Fiorina

2) Victory over Europe in WWII

3) Prince William and Kate

4) homosexuals. She wants a judge to decide if homosexuality is a sin

5) Texas

6) Jamestown, Va.

7) the NDP ( New Democratic Party)

8) Hillary Clinton

9) Bernie Sanders

10) put Texas under martial law by the Obama administration.

11) Empty Walmarts would be used as prisons

12) $368 billion. http://moron.com/florida-man-attempts-to-cash-368-billion-check/

13) eminent domain

14) school funding. Pink slips went out to nearly 1,000 Iowa teachers last week

15) 15 years

16) Tom Brady

17) Conservatives

18) Nike

19) The Scottish Nationalist Party

20) His brother George W. – yep, that George W.