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Sunday Funday – Sober Thought Edition

Mike Luckovich, the Atlanta Journal-Constitution

Mike Luckovich, the Atlanta Journal-Constitution

Just as I went to write this I had a very sobering thought. Following Citizens United, billionaires shopped around looking for a puppet to install in the White House to do their bidding. After trying out a Newt Gingrich and a Rick Santorum, they seemed to settle on someone who was much like them in Mitt Romney.

This year they are shopping again with bushel baskets of money at the ready. But they are not finding quite the quality they had in 2012 (quit snickering I am trying to make a point here). Certain of the .0001% have just realized if they want someone like themselves, then why not themselves? It is sort of the ultimate outcome of Citizens United. Ladies and gentlemen, Donald Trump!

Next cycle keep an eye out for someone named Walton looking to open a store in the DC area. You heard it here first!

Were you paying attention?

1) Thursday night a gunman in Lafayette, Louisiana murdered 3 and nearly murdered 9 more during what movie?

2) One of the longest running mysteries in America began on July 30th, 1975 when who was last seen outside a restaurant in Detroit, Michigan?

3) The last bike riders should have dipped their tires in the Mississippi. What general direction does RAGBRAI always take across Iowa?

4) As the bike riders swarm Davenport that city is also celebrating native musician Bix Beiderbecke. What instrument is Beiderbecke most associated with?

5) Physicist Stephen Hawking this week announced a $100 million effort to find what?

6) Another week, another Republican runs for president. Who was it this week?

7) Whose cell phone number did Donald Trump announce on national TV?

8) The world temperatures for June are in. How does the first six months of 2015 stack up as far as heat goes?

9) Engineers have been warning about infrastructure problems in this country for decades. A bridge on I10 between what two major cities collapsed in the rain last week?

10) The Annie E. Casey Foundation said that what percentage of American children currently live in poverty?

11) A remote hack on what brand of automobiles was demonstrated last week when hackers took over control of what from 10 miles away?

12) Hackers threatened to expose customers of what web site that arranges “discreet encounters for married men?”

13) In one of the oddest stories of the week, the winner of the French Scrabble world championship was unique in that he what?

14) In Colorado an ABC television almost broadcast the first US commercial for what product until the parent company stepped in to stop it?

15) A new embassy opened for what country in Washington, DC last week?

16) And so the media flexes its muscle. Rupert Murdoch has reportedly told his Fox News executives to back off covering what politician?

17) And in California, protestors did what to try to stop the removal of trees in the Claremont Canyon in Oakland and the U of Cal campus?

18) It was a wild ride up for the stock of what online retailer Friday?

19) In a shake up at MSNBC what voice of the working man was shown the door Thursday?

20) Reaching waaaay back for a comparison, Arkansas’ goofy senator Tom Cotton compared SoS John Kerry to what biblical character?

Whoa, dude, next Saturday is August 1st. Only 6 months to the caucus. Have you chosen your candidate yet?

Answers:

1) Amy Schumer’s “Trainwreck”

2) Jimmy Hoffa

3) west to east ending with the traditional tire dip in the Mississippi

4) cornet, but piano is also acceptable

5) intelligent life in our galaxy

6) John Kasich of Ohio

7) Lyndsey Graham’s

8) the hottest first half of a year ever

9) Los Angeles and Phoenix

10) 22% including 39% of AA, 37% of Native Americans and 33% of Hispanic

11) Chrysler. The hack was on one of their Jeep Cherokees

12) Ashley Madison

13) he can’t speak French

14) marijuana

15) Cuba

16) Donald Trump

17) stripped naked and hugged the trees – you don’t want to see the pictures

18) Amazon which ended up nearly $50 after being up nearly $90/share

19) Ed Schultz – he’s there for a while but the show was cancelled

20) Pontius Pilate – not sure what the similarity is

See you next week!

Sunday Funday: Disease Infects Clown Bus

May have to be quarantined

May have to be quarantined

The clown bus traveling to and from Ames had to stop several times to be disinfected. It seems a very virulent virus has infected the bus that is being used for a comedy act known as “The Republican Presidential Candidates Over-The-Top Clown Tour.” The virus is known simply as the Donald. The Donald has in recent weeks really bit the clown known as JEB! in the butt several times wreaking havoc on JEB!’s ability to think and speak. The Donald bug has also bitten clowns Marco and Randy. It has also caused havoc with the drivers and organizers of the tour to the point that about all anyone can talk about is the Donald.

artist's rendering of virus (photo from dailykos.com)

artist’s rendering of virus
(photo from dailykos.com)

There is concern that if the Donald is allowed to live until August 6th, it may get out of its container and infect the general public.

Please exercise caution if you see this virus.

Hey time to see if you were paying attention

1) The New Horizon probe flew by Pluto this week giving earthlings a sense of pride. When was New Horizon launched?

2) What Iowa congressman is pushing a House resolution that states may “refuse to recognize or license same sex marriages?”

3) July 19th & 20th, 1848 a very important meeting was held at Seneca Falls, NY to discuss what issue?

4) In a speech Monday candidate Hillary Clinton said she would work to change the tax code to encourage what method of rewarding employees easier?

5) Former Rep. Michael Griffin (R-NY) was sentenced Friday to 8 months in prison for what offense?

6) For the first time, coal was not the major source of electricity in the US. What replaced coal as the major source of electricity?

7) Three officials of what association were removed for their part in helping with interrogations using torture?

8) Well, Republicans sort of got their wish. Where was President Obama Thursday?

9) Huffington Post decided that whose presidential campaign fit better in their entertainment section instead of their political section?

10) AFSCME and 20 legislators filed suit against Gov. Branstad over what issue?

11) RAGBRAI kicked off in Sioux City this morning. Can you remember the two DM Register columnists that started this annual event as a kind of challenge between themselves?

12) After being called a dwarf, did this put on a little girth. What is 50 miles larger than previously believed?

13) NOAA reported last week that a what is expected to continue throughout next winter and early sprain in North America?

14) The Iran deal was announced late last week. Up to now which Republicans have endorsed it?

15) What family is out of work after cable channel TLC cancelled their show last week?

16) July 15th came and went in Texas without incident despite fear that what was going to happen?

17) Iowa’s DOT is reminding motorists to check for what before they leave their cars during this hot summer?

18) While Greece’s financial difficulties grab headlines, what major governmental bankruptcy is looming in the US?

19) German Chancellor Angela Merkl got really bad press last week when she responded negatively on national TV to a young girl’s plea to do what?

20) At 94 years old Oscar Groening has been sentenced to 4 years in prison for his role as an accountant at what prison in WWII?

BTW normal disinfectants only make the Donald virus begin to shout how great it is.

Answers:

1) January 15, 2006

2) Steve ‘cantaloupe calves’ King

3) women’s rights

4) profit sharing plans

5) Tax fraud. The threat to kill a reporter wasn’t tried.

6) Natural gas

7) American Psychiatric Association

8) El Reno prison in Oklahoma. Just visiting, though.

9) Donald Trump

10) closing of mental health institutes in Clarinda and Mount Pleasant

11) Donald Kaul and John Karras

12) Pluto

13) an El Nino – winter may be warmer.

14) None that I have heard of.

15) the Duggars

16) military Operation Jade Helm would be a cover for a takeover of Texas by the Obama administration. (quit laughing)

17) Check to make sure you didn’t leave your baby in the hot car.

18) Puerto Rico

19) The girl was a Palestinian refugee and she wanted to stay in Germany to attend college.

20) Auschwitz.

Sunday Funday: Countdown To The Hall Of Fame Dinner

could these folks pass the quiz?

could these folks pass the quiz?

Well, hey – the Iowa Democratic Party’s Hall of Fame dinner is this coming Friday night in Cedar Rapids. This should be quite a memorable event. The Democratic presidential candidates will each be speaking. Get ready for some barn burner speeches that cover real Democratic values like health care for all, climate change, inequality of income and wealth, clean environment, regulating Wall Street and the banking system and making education available and affordable for all to name just a few.

Looks like tickets have already been sold out, but you can put your name on a waiting list here

Seems to me CSPAN carried the proceedings the last couple of events before the caucuses. Check it out if you do not have a ticket.

Were you paying attention?

1) New York wasn’t the only state with an escaped prisoner problem. Iowa had a prisoner escape from which of their prisons?

2) Well, this may present some unique security problems. Thursday the administration announced that Pres. Obama will be the first sitting president to visit a what?

3) Hillary Clinton may have taken on a huge fight when she announced in Iowa City she would take on what industry’s lobby group?

4) The Donald (Donald Trump of course) stated in an interview that if he is the Republican nominee he will win the votes of what minority group?

5) Israel announced last week that it will build a wall between themselves and what other country, thus totally fencing themselves in?

6) US female soccer star Megan Rappinoe used what single word to describe herself when asked to do so in an interview on ESPN?

7) Maybe the word is getting out. Nearly two million Americans have ceased using what out of fear of skin cancer?

8) Eric Holder returned to his old law firm of Covington and Burling. At Covington and Burling what type of clients did Holder represent?

9) The old Log Ride at Adventureland Park is going away. Do you know what will be built in its place?

10) FEMA denied a request from Iowa Governor Terry Branstad for a disaster declaration for losses caused by what?

11) One hundred people are killed by guns in the US on average every day. But the news media and the GOP has us focused on one murder that took place in one city because of the immigration status of the perpetrator?

12) The award winning actor who played Dr. Zhivago and Sherif Ali in Lawrence of Arabia died Friday in his native Egypt. He was also a a world class player in what game that he wrote about in a daily newspaper column?

13) Pope Francis is touring South America. He used what venue to change into his vestments for Mass in Santa Cruz, Bolivia?

14) The New Horizon spacecraft had a close encounter with Pluto last week. How far is Pluto from earth?

15) How long does it take a message to be transmitted to the New Horizon spacecraft from earth?

16) Drought in California leads people to do some storage things. What well known actor has been accused of stealing water for his avocados?

17) What major Iowa Republican activist has been invited to a conference on spiritual revival at the Vatican by Pope Francis?

18) Tuesday is July 14th. What major celebration of freedom takes place on July 14th – especially in France?

19) South Carolina’s Republican Rep. Jenny Horne became instantly famous for her impassioned speech to remove the Confederate flag. What Confederate biggy does Rep. Horne count among her ancestry?

20) Finally, a judge in Virginia said what US sports team could have its trademark registration cancelled due to the offensive nature of the trademark?

Here comes sumer – @#$)*^^$#.

Answers:

1) the maximum security one in Fort Madison

2) prison. Specifically a federal prison in Oklahoma.

3) the gun lobby

4) the Latinos (“I love them and they love me” – guess that is why he is now a piñata)

5) Jordan

6) “Gaaaaay” (see it here) http://www.dailykos.com/story/2015/07/09/1400820/-U-S-Women-s-Soccer-star-appears-on-ESPN-and-hilariously-surprises-hosts-with-totally-gay-answer?detail=email

7) tanning beds

8) big banks. Maybe that is why they were never prosecuted?

9) the Monster Roller Coaster

10) avian flu. Republicans tried like hell to kill FEMA a few years back, nolsw hey complain when they get no help.

11) San Francisco

12) Omar Sharif was a world class bridge player and columnist on bridge.

13) a Burger King

14) varies from 2.7 to 4.7 billion miles. Right now it is 3 bn. miles

15) 4.5 hours at its current distance. That is one way

16) Tom Selleck

17) Bob Vander Plaats

18) Bastille Day

19) Jefferson Davis

20) The Washington Redskins. An appeal is pending.

Stay cool and eat some of that delicious sweet corn that is coming on.

#AskBobby: An Internet Adventure In Hilarity

Jindal is probably in there someplace

Jindal is probably in there someplace

Hey, it’s a holiday weekend. Not just a holiday weekend, but one of the big holidays of the year. If there is one legacy in America that I love is the irreverence with which Americans have always viewed their politicians. When some politician tries to puff themselves up like an overblown balloon it seems there have always been Americans nearby with a pin to let the air out.

Puffing about accomplishments that don’t exist and blaming others for problems they caused has been typical fair especially for those on the Republican side. Wednesday the staff of one of those self-aggrandizing Republicans who will be spending a lot of time in Iowa because he thinks so much of himself that he is running for president, came up with a brilliant idea. Let’s put up a twitter thread to let our man take questions from the people.

The candidate is Piyush (Bobby) Jindal currently governor of Louisiana and new part time citizen of Iowa. The Twitter thread is here. The American people were up to the challenge of deflating the overblown balloon that has characterized Jindal’s view of himself and his accomplishments. So with sharpened wits they had at the puffery with great success. Here are a few. Enjoy in the grand American tradition of bringing overblown heads back down to size.

Warning: excessive laughing may result in sore ribs and crying.

Chris Murphy ‏@NotOnMurphsTurf 2h2 hours ago
#AskBobby Why would anyone vote for you nationally when you have been completely disinterested and ineffectual at the state level?

Gothwave ‏@GothwaveLtd 3h3 hours ago
#AskBobby When Jesus delivered the constitution did He want to be President?

Vance Nickelson ‏@vnick72 21h21 hours ago
#AskBobby Who do you hate more: teachers, state workers, women, gays, or poor people? Does it help if someone is a member of more than 1 ?

Bryan Behar ‏@bryanbehar 23h23 hours ago
#AskBobby So you say state employees can deny same-sex marriage licenses? Are we free to choose which laws to obey? (Tweeted while driving)

Mrs. Betty Bowers ‏@BettyBowers Jun 30
#askbobby Are you peeved with Jeb for using a fake name that panders to the redneck Republican base even better than your fake name?

EqualityRising! ‏@EqualityRising_ Jun 30
#AskBobby Will your religious objection directive allow Clerks to withhold divorcees & non-virgins Marriage licenses?

NonProphetess ‏@nonprophetess Jun 30
#AskBobby – @BobbyJindal If gays get married and no conservatives are around to throw a fit, does it still violate their religious freedom?

Larry ‏@LarryLarmeu Jun 30
If you’re going to spend 5 days a week in Iowa can we put the gov mansion on AirBnB & make up some of the deficit you’ve created? #AskBobby

NonProphetess ‏@nonprophetess Jun 30
#AskBobby – @BobbyJindal Is the cognitive dissonance of having a biology degree and being viciously anti-science overwhelming?

Zack Kopplin ‏@ZackKopplin Jun 30
.@BobbyJindal if I sail too far will I fall off the edge of the Earth? #AskBobby

Bearded Stoner ‏@beardedstoner Jun 30
Many have responded to the news of your candidacy with laughter. Thoughts? #AskBobby

Note: This is also a reminder of how important a neutral internet is. With corporations owning all other media (radio, TV, newspapers magazines) it is vital for democracy to survive to keep the internet out of corporate hands.

Sunday Funday: 15 Minutes Of Fame Edition

Happy 4th of July

IT IS A MAJOR HOLIDAY WEEKEND. You guys really don’t expect the old quizmaster to work too hard do you? So let’s relax with a little quiz to remind you how much you have forgotten over the years.

Today we will bring up some names or places related to politics in some ways, some may be new some may be dated a bit. But at one time these names were in our memories due to at least some interest from our mainstream media. Don’t think too hard, it is a holiday:

1) The Southern Avenger

2) Dan Cathy

3) Christine O’Donnell

4) Maureen McDonnell

5) Robert Bork

6) Dave Brat

7) Anita Hill

8) Kaci Hickox

9) Heather Poe

10) Scott Phillip Roeder

11) Piyush

12) Matt Schultz

13) Kent Snyder

14) Harriet Miers

15) Monica Goodling

16) Rob Ford

17) Boris Nemtsov

18) Alexis Tsipras

19) Sandra Fluke

20) Paula Broadwell

Some of those neurons tingling toward the back of the head? Quite a sensation isn’t it. If you have Obamacare you can have it checked tomorrow.
Answers:

1) advisor to Rand Paul and radio DJ who had to leave the campaign because of racist statements. In news recently for saying confederate flag must go.

2) CEO of Chik-fil-a who made statements opposing gay marriage thus involving his company in the political spotlight.

3) “I am not a witch” tea partier O’Donnell ran for senate in Delaware in 2012

4) Wife of former Virginia governor Bob McDonnell convicted of accepting bribes while first lady of VA.

5) Nominated for SCOTUS in 1987, his defeat led to Anthony Kennedy being on the court today

6) Extreme right winger who defeated the unbeatable Eric Cantor in Republican primary last year for congress seat.

7) Former staffer of Clarence Thomas testified to his sexual harassment at confirmation hearings.

8) Nurse who was ordered confined by NJ governor Christie when she returned from West Africa on concerns of ebola contamination

9) Wife of Mary Cheney. Opposition to gay marriage became a major issue to budding politician Liz Cheney

10) Murderer of women’s health doctor Robert Tiller

11) Bobby Jindal’s real first name

12) Iowa’s previous secretary of state. Most noted for trying to purge voters from Iowa rolls

13) Campaign manager for Ron Paul in 2012. Paul hated the ACA. Snyder died of pneumonia because he could not get insurance (previous conditions) and waited too long to see a doctor. Left half a million in medical bills.

14) Nominee to replace Sandra Day O’Connor on SCOTUS by GWB. Considered a joke by everyone.

15) Justice department lawyer involved in firing US attorneys based on political views.

16) Former right wing mayor of Toronto Ontario. Noted for drug incidents and outrageous statements while mayor

17) Political opponent of Vladimir Putin shot to death in broad daylight in Moscow last year

18) current premier of Greece whose name you may hear daily but didn’t know how to spell

19) Georgetown law student whose testimony to a congressional committee on birth control pills led to attacks on air by Rush Limbaugh. These attacks have led to Limbaugh losing many outlets.

20) biographer and lover of Gen. David Petraeus. His revelation of military secrets to her led to his disgrace

Enjoy the FIFA women’s championship tonight. Should be a good match.

PSA From Progress Iowa For Independence Day

How-To: Talk to your Conservative Uncle at 4th of July!

By Progress Iowa

Discuss confidently with your Conservative Uncle as he goes through the 5 stages of SCOTUS Grief

As you spend time with friends and family this holiday weekend, you know what’s coming: the conversation you can’t avoid with your conservative Uncle.

He’ll usually corner you about the latest conspiracy theory invented by Rush Limbaugh, but this holiday might just be different —> after the Supreme Court ruled in favor of same-sex marriage and upheld Obamacare last week, your conservative Uncle will probably be reeling in grief.

How you discuss health care and marriage equality with him will depend on which of the 5 stages of grief he’s experiencing: anger, denial, bargaining, depression, or acceptance.

five stages of conservative grief

five stages of conservative grief

As always, we’re here to help, no matter which of the 5 stages he’s experiencing:

Stage 1: ANGER
Many Republican Presidential candidates find themselves in this stage [Source: ThinkProgress], so it won’t be surprising if your conservative Uncle is here as well. He may claim that the Court didn’t have this authority and that the Justices should be elected.
Our advice: remind him about the three branches of government, checks and balances, and the need for one branch to be independent and free from politics. If that doesn’t work, show him this Schoolhouse Rock video that breaks it down simply.

Stage 2: DENIAL
This is the stage that can be most difficult to break through, if he genuinely believes the Court’s ruling won’t stick. Your conservative Uncle may have fallen under the spell of the Fox News bubble —> the more information he digests, the less informed he becomes [Source: Business Insider].
Our advice: let him know that regardless of what he thinks, this is happening. And the polls are already in — large majorities support both of last week’s Supreme Court decisions [Source: CNN]. Suggest that he change the channel to anything but Fox News, where he’ll discover that marriage equality and affordable health care are here to stay!

Stage 3: BARGAINING
Once he’s accepted that these rulings have taken effect, your conservative Uncle may think states can revolt, or there may be some other solution to get rid of the rulings.
Our advice: remind him that Obamacare has been law since 2010, and three fourths of the country were already living in states where same-sex marriage was legal before last week, the few who are trying to resist are quickly coming to terms with the fact that the Supreme Court has ruled [Source: Washington Post].

Stage 4: DEPRESSION
Your conservative Uncle may seem in despair. He may claim not to recognize this country, or that faith and family aren’t what they used to be.
Our advice: tell him he sounds an awful lot like the people who weren’t comfortable with interracial marriage forty years ago. Or less than a hundred years ago, when women were gaining the right to vote. Then remind him that our country’s history is a timeline of our citizens gaining freedoms: from slavery to voter access, desegregation to civil rights, women’s rights, and gay rights. And remind him that the members of nearly every major religious faith supports same-sex marriage, as well as taking care of their neighbors [Source: Public Religion Research Institute].

Stage 5: ACCEPTANCE
It’s unlikely your Uncle has reached the acceptance stage, but if he has, congratulate him! He’s joined the record high number of Americans who support same-sex marriage [Source: Gallup] and recognized that Obamacare is working “better than even many supporters realize.” [Source: New York Times].
Our advice: celebrate and enjoy with the newest progressive in your family!

Remember, the first step is recognizing which stage of grief your conservative Uncle is experiencing. Then engage in conversation accordingly.

Good luck, and have a great 4th of July weekend!

Matt Sinovic
Progress Iowa

Sunday Funday: Hey! The Sun Ain’t Movin’! Edition

Sunday morning before church cheesecake Mike Luckovich, the Atlanta Journal-Constitution

Sunday morning before church cheesecake
Mike Luckovich, the Atlanta Journal-Constitution

I’m warning you – the sun is stuck. If it don’t move pretty soon, it’s going to get hot. I mean hot!

Were you paying attention? It was one busy week.

1) The car from the Dukes of Hazzard tv show will no longer be produced with a confederate flag on it. What is the name of that car?

2) “Interpretive jiggery-pokery” is how Scalia termed the majority opinion in what SCOTUS case this week?

3) There are 3 countries on the North American continent. Which one(s) do not have marriage equality?

4) President Obama took some undue criticism for saying a bad word. What bad word did he say?

5) The grandson of preacher Billy Graham resigned his pastor position at a Florida church amid charges of what?

6) What young man apologized for the lives he had taken at his sentencing hearing last week?

7) What two Iowa politicians had to deal with contributions from the Conservative Citizens Council leader last week?

8) Doctors in Adelaide, Australia warned women that what fashionable clothing could cause nerve and muscle damage?

9) Wikileaks claimed they had proof that the NSA spied on the last three presidents of what?

10) A California judge dismissed a ballot initiative that proposed to do what to people who engaged in gay sex?

11) An almost perfect storm of fasting during Ramadan, power outages and what act of nature resulted in the death of 800+ people in Karachi, Pakistan since Sunday?

12) What Spanish language network dropped coverage of the Miss USA pageant after remarks by Miss USA part owner Donald Trump?

13) Donald Featherstone died this week. While you may not recognize his name, you will certainly recognize his most famous creation. What did Donald Featherstone create?

14) Hard to believe it has been a century plus a year since the assassination of this man triggered what would become known as World War I?

15) His state is falling apart under his leadership, so which governor thought it a good time to announce a run for president last week?

16) Take a guess how Steve King felt about the SCOTUS ruling on marriage equality?

17) Thursday was a good day for what industry in the stock market?

18) Taxis have gone on strike in France, snarling traffic to protest the presence of what competitor?

19) A bad week for the Palins. Grandma Palin was finally severed as a commentator for what network while daughter Bristol announced a second unmarried pregnancy?

20) Japan announced they were lifting a 67 year old ban on what activity to the delight of the nation’s night clubs?

BTW – there are many more suits against the ACA working their way through the judicial system. Look for another one to wiggle its way up to the SCOTUS again next year. Killing the ACA anyway they can is what Republicans do.

Answers:

1) the General Lee

2) King v. Burwell or the ACA case

3) none . All three now have marriage equality

4) the ’N’ word during an interview with Marc Maron

5) having an affair while both he and the woman were married to different partners

6) Dzjokar Tsarnaev (Boston Bomber)

7) Steve King and Joni Ernst

8) tight jeans.

9) France

10) kill them with bullets to the head or anything else that was convenient

11) heat wave with temps up to 113 degrees

12) Univision. Seems Trump made quite disparaging remarks about Hispanics when he announced his presidential run.

13) the pink lawn flamingo

14) the archduke Ferdinand

15) Bobby Jindal

16) if you said he was against it, you would be right.

17) for profit hospitals. The ACA ruling saved their butts

18) Uber

19) Fox (not) News

20) public dancing

Sometimes We Need To Laugh

Been a really bad week for those who believe that America can be what it claims to be. As with many here, the events of the week have been roiling in my mind making me wonder if it is worth the fight. Murder in a mall in the heartland, race driver mass murder in South Carolina, politicians in Washington giving away America’s sovereignty in something called the TPP, all in all a bad week.

Sometimes, we just need to step back and get away from the daily grind and have a laugh.

In that vein, I stole a post from democraticunderground which did just that. A hat tip to poster Madokie for this gem of a post:

For those of us who remember, for a moment of levity. Enjoy

These great questions and answers are from the days when Hollywood Squares’ game show responses were spontaneous, not scripted, as they are now!

Q. Paul, what is a good reason for pounding meat?

A. Paul Lynde: Loneliness!

(The audience laughed so long and so hard it took up almost 15 minutes of the show!)

Q. Do female frogs croak?

A. Paul Lynde: If you hold their little heads under water long enough.

Q. If you’re going to make a parachute jump, at least how high should you be

A. Charley Weaver: Three days of steady drinking should do it.

Q. True or False, a pea can last as long as 5,000 years…

A. George Gobel: Boy, it sure seems that way sometimes.

Q. You’ve been having trouble going to sleep. Are you probably a man or a woman?

A.. Don Knotts: That’s what’s been keeping me awake.

Q. According to Cosmopolitan, if you meet a stranger at a party and you think that he is attractive, is it okay to come out and ask him if he’s married?

A.. Rose Marie: No wait until morning.

Q. Which of your five senses tends to diminish as you get older?

A. Charley Weaver: My sense of decency..

Q. What are ‘Do It,’ ‘I Can Help,’ and ‘I Can’t Get Enough’?

A. George Gobel: I don’t know, but it’s coming from the next apartment.

Q. As you grow older, do you tend to gesture more or less with your hands while talking?

A. Rose Marie: You ask me one more growing old question Peter, and I’ll give you a gesture you’ll never forget.

Q. Paul, why do Hell’s Angels wear leather?

A. Paul Lynde: Because chiffon wrinkles too easily.

Q.. Charley, you’ve just decided to grow strawberries. Are you going to get any during the first year?

A.. Charley Weaver: Of course not, I’m too busy growing strawberries.

Q. In bowling, what’s a perfect score?

A. Rose Marie: Ralph, the pin boy.

Q. During a tornado, are you safer in the bedroom or in the closet?

A. Rose Marie: Unfortunately Peter, I’m always safe in the bedroom.

Q. Can boys join the Camp Fire Girls?

A.. Marty Allen: Only after lights out.

Q. When you pat a dog on its head he will wag his tail. What will a goose do?

A. Paul Lynde: Make him bark?

Q. If you were pregnant for two years, what would you give birth to?

A. Paul Lynde: Whatever it is, it would never be afraid of the dark..

Q. According to Ann Landers, is there anything wrong with getting into the habit of kissing a lot of people?

A. Charley Weaver: It got me out of the army.

Q. Back in the old days, when Great Grandpa put horseradish on his head, what was he trying to do?

A. George Gobel: Get it in his mouth.

Q. Who stays pregnant for a longer period of time, your wife or your elephant?

A. Paul Lynde: Who told you about my elephant?

Q. Jackie Gleason recently revealed that he firmly believes in them and has actually seen them on at least two occasions. What are they?

A. Charley Weaver: His feet.

Q. According to Ann Landers, what are two things you should never do in bed?

A. Paul Lynde: Point and laugh

WE DON’T STOP LAUGHING BECAUSE WE GROW OLD,
WE GROW OLD BECAUSE WE STOP LAUGHING

Sunday Funday Father’s Day Edition

no, no guys it's Fathers Day. You guys are up in a couple of weeks

no, no guys it’s Fathers Day. You guys are up in a couple of weeks

Well, well, well, Dad. Pull up a chair and sharpen the brain, time to impress the kids with how smart you are.

Have you been paying attention?

1) What is the shortest day of the year in Sydney, Australia?

2) The Pentagon let it be known this week that it was considering putting heavy weaponry in what trouble spot of the world?

3) Donald Trump announced his presidential campaign Tuesday. In that announcement he said he would build a fence on the border with Mexico. How would he pay for that fence?

4) The TPP passed the House last week. How many Democrats voted for the TPP?

5) The Catholic arch-bishop and his top deputy resigned amid abuse coverup charges in what state bordering Iowa?

6) Quietly last week what western hemisphere country had marriage equality legalized through its Supreme Court decisions?

7) In SCOTUS news this week putting the confederate flag on Texas license plates was not allowed. Who was the swing vote in this 5 – 4 decision?

8) What is the name of the church in Charleston, SC where 9 people were murdered in a racially motivated attack?

9) What pharmaceutical chain paid $1.9 billion to take over Target’s in store drug business?

10) Even though he is Catholic, Jeb Bush is not going to let what guy tell him anything about climate change?

11) The Treasury Department had what surprise announcement about currency this week?

12) The California Labor commission found that drivers for what cab company were actually employees and not independent contractors?

13) Friday was June 19th. This date is also known as what, especially in Texas?

14) Rachel Dolezal got her 15 minutes of fame last week. Why?

15) Senator Joni Ernst had to defend her vote against a bill that would address what problem in the military?

16) The Iowa Supreme Court in a bit of a surprise ruled what unconstitutional Friday?

17) The FDA has set 2018 (3 years) as the goal to rid foods of what substance?

18) The FCC flexes its muscle. They fined AT&T how much for slowing down the internet to its customers after promising unlimited data?

19) Fox News claimed the shooting in Charleston was aimed at what group, despite the message the shooter left that it was racially driven?

20) Bill did a lot of damage this week. Who or what was Bill?

Sports BONUS: Major League baseball cancelled 60 million online all-star votes after members of what team were leading in 8 of the 9 hitting positions?

OOPS! just read that Father’s Day is the most dangerous day on the roads in Iowa. Be Safe!

Answers:

1) today – the first day of winter in the southern hemisphere

2) The Baltics and Eastern Europe

3) He’d make Mexico pay for it. Yes he would

4) 28 more than enough to have stopped it.

5) Minnesota, specifically the St. Paul diocese

6) Mexico

7) Clarence Thomas joined Breyer, Kagan, Sotomayer and Ginsburg (words that will probably never be written again)

8) Mother Emmanuel AME

9) CVS

10) the Pope. Jeb didn’t cotton to the Climate Change encyclical

11) in 2020 the $10 bill will feature a woman’s image on the face

12) Uber

13) Juneteenth – the date that Texas learned the civil war was over and slaves had been freed.

14) She claimed to be black, though her parents are white. She was the head of the Spokane, Wash. NAACP

15) sexual assault

16) the ban on telemedia abortions

17) trans fats

18) $100 million

19) Christians. Presidential candidate Lyndsey Graham parroted this claim later on The View

20) A tropical storm that dumped huge amounts of rain from Houston to Boston

BONUS: Kansas City Royals. What? No A-Rod?

Happy Father’s day and be careful.

Sunday Funday: Here Come The Rains

nor does it keep it out of the basement

nor does it keep it out of the basement

Climate change comes to the basements and crawl spaces of Iowa homes. Where once we might have a gully washer every decade or so we now have several a year. Where once the ground would be thirsty for the water of a gully washer, now it is saturated with the water from a train of storms. Here’s hoping you stay dry. Here’s some sympathy and empathy if you don’t.

Were you paying attention?

1) Hillary Clinton gave a kickoff address at Roosevelt Park yesterday. Which Roosevelt was this park named for?

2) A crowd of one later swelled to 4 to see what presidential candidate in Hamlin, Iowa?

3) Folk singer Ronnie Gilbert died last week. She and Pete Seeger were members of what 1950s folksinging quartet?

4) Today is Flag Day. How far back does the celebration of Flag Day go?

5) What if you gave a party and no one showed up? What major presidential campaign event was canceled Friday when little interest was shown by the various campaigns?

6) The G7 nations, meeting in Bavaria, agreed to phase out what by the year 2100?

7) The FDA approved human clinical trials for a vaccine for what disease that affects the body’s ability to handle sugar and starches?

8) After a bomb scare Tuesday, what nerve center of Washington, DC news was evacuated?

9) Eric Casebolt resigned as a police officer in McKinney, Texas Tuesday. He became famous on the internet last weekend for his actions in responding to a complaint about what?

10) Drivers in Iowa will now be able to renew their drivers licenses where?

11) Radio host Diane Rehm asked what presidential candidate about his non-existent dual citizenship of Israel and the US?

12) South Korea is is being super aggressive in combating what contagious disease?

13) The judge in the case against what former major politician admitted to donating to his campaigns in the past?

14) It was reported last week that what now notorious family was in the headlines again for refusing a probe by child welfare services?

15) The Iowa Utilities Board issued a schedule for the conclusion of the Bakken pipeline decision. When is this decision scheduled to be made?

16) Republicans from what early primary state have asked Fox to change their debate format?

17) What major leader in the news business announced he would be stepping down as CEO?

18) Tomorrow is birthday #800 for what cornerstone document of modern democracies?

19) On June 16, 1963 what Russian became the first woman in space?

20) Shell Oil vessel Arctic Challenger is in transit to what area to resume oil and gas exploration?

Quote of the week:
“The problem is not that I don’t understand the global banking system. The problem for these guys is that I fully understand the system and I understand how they make their money. And that’s what they don’t like about me.” — Sen. Elizabeth Warren on Jamie Dimon’s recent comments “mansplaining” banking to her

Answers:

1) Franklin D.

2) Rick Santorum

3) The Weavers

4) June 14, 1777

5) The Republican Ames Straw Poll

6) use of fossil fuels.

7) type 1 diabetes

8) the White House Briefing Room

9) a pool party with mixed race attendees.

10) 24 computerized kiosks around the state set up in libraries and 24 hour retail businesses.

11) Bernie Sanders. Rehm was asking about an unsubstantiated internet rumor.

12) MERS (middle east respiratory syndrome)

13) Dennis Hastert

14) the Duggars

15) December 2015 or January 2016

16) New Hampshire. They want everyone included.

17) Ruppert Murdoch

18) the Magna Carta

19) Valentina Tereshkova – she is still alive

20) the Arctic