By Sam Garchik (photo from Flickr - daniella.zalcman@gmail.com)
Of course, Payless would be out of character for Cindy. But that's a story for another day. Nice speech Grinch. Beats stealing Christmas, does it not?
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Friday, September 5
Me thinks Sarah and Cindy hit the Bogo Sale at Payless
by
Sam Garchik
on Fri 05 Sep 2008 02:23 PM CDT
Me thinks Sarah and Cindy hit the Bogo Sale at Payless
By Sam Garchik (photo from Flickr - daniella.zalcman@gmail.com) Of course, Payless would be out of character for Cindy. But that's a story for another day. Nice speech Grinch. Beats stealing Christmas, does it not?
Mom vs. Grandpa
by
Sam Garchik
on Fri 05 Sep 2008 12:11 PM CDT
Mom vs. Grandpa
By Sam Garchik Has anyone else out there noticed that Sarah Palin looks kind of like your mom? And that Joe Biden looks kind of like Grandpa? Everyone one of you knows that Grandpa's job is to give you stuff that gets you in trouble: BB Guns, Candy, Chemistry Sets, Rockets, Motorcyles, Healthcare. Mom's job is to make sure you act wisely: Save Money, Clean Your Room, Be Home By Midnight. Here's what I'm thiinking their debate will go like: Biden (aka Grandpa): You all deserve something fun. You've had a hard day. Your mom doesn't understand that you need to be rewarded for all of that. Want some healthcare? Palin (aka Mom): We can't afford healthcare, grandpa. Why do you always give the children (American voters) what they want? I work all the time. You spend my money on garbage. When was the last time they brushed their teeth? Grandpa: Teeth? Brushing? They haven't brushed their teeth because they've been up all night making environmentally sound energy policies (aka doing drugs). They wil brush their teeth when they are good and ready. Here, kids, have some organic, grass feed candy. Mom: They should know better. They need to go to bed. I can't believe your letting them play around with dangerous weapons of mass destruction. And those friends of theirs (aka terrorists)? Didn't I tell you not to let them play with those people? Besides, what happened to all the good toys I bought at Wal-Mart, the ones made in China? Grandpa: Those all broke. I bought them new toys, made from sustainable forrestry products. They last much longer. As soon as eat lunch made form products which are grown locally and labeled with the country they came from, we can clean the house with organic cleaning products. That should make you happy. Mom: Look, I work all the time, and I take care of all of my children. My husband, who is not here because he is in astronaut traning (besides being a union member, a oil worker, a fisherman and a snowmobile racer), will come back and take care of the kids then. Until then, I want you to know that I expect you, old man, to take care of them. Grandpa: Me? Im old, I only get social security. My 401k was outsourced to Dubai. I can't afford to take care of children with high co-pays and the price of gas being what it is. And the train? I take it every day to go home, but it's Amtrak, and our government doesn't invest enough money in public transportation for it to work all the time. Mom: Well, it's not my fault that when mom died the death tax took all your hard earned monney. I'd love to send them to school, but I can't because they teach so-called 'science,' there, for heaven's sake. You know that until we can pass vouchers, im stuck sending my children to school with non-whites. Lord help us all. Grandpa: Raising kids isnt that hard. I raised 2 with no mom when I was in the Senate. That should tell you something about that job. No onder I want to be Vice President. Palin: You know, I want to be Vice President also. I am young, but so were the Kennedy's when John F. thought abour running for Vice -President in 1956. Biden: Governor, I knew Jackie Kennedy. I served with Jackie Kennedy. And let me tell you, you're no Jackie Kennedy. |
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