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no4gman - Tue 15 Jul 2008 10:46 PM CDT
evaroberts - Tue 15 Jul 2008 01:20 AM CDT
Sam Garchik - Mon 02 Jun 2008 10:10 AM CDT
atomburke - Fri 23 May 2008 03:49 PM CDT
salman - Fri 23 May 2008 06:28 AM CDT
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Monday, September 26

SCIENTISTS DOUBT EXISTENCE OF DEMOCRATS
by
Trish Nelson
on Mon 26 Sep 2005 04:00 PM CDT
SCIENTISTS DOUBT EXISTENCE OF DEMOCRATS
The Borowitz Report
Opposition Party Could Be Black Hole, Experts Say
With George W. Bush’s approval ratings plummeting
in recent weeks, the inability on the part of Democrats to capitalize
on [Bush]’s waning fortunes has caused some leading scientists to
postulate
that the Democratic Party may not exist at all.
Dr. Marisa Drazin, a leading scientist who for years has
been questioning the existence of Democrats, said today that what many have
thought to be the Democratic Party may in fact be nothing more than a black
hole.
“When [Bush] loses ten or twelve approval points, one
would normally expect those approval points to go to the opposition party,” Dr.
Drazin said. “But instead, those points have vanished into thin air, leading
one to conclude that the so-called Democratic Party does not exist."
Theories about the nonexistence of the Democratic Party are
nothing new, said Dr. Drazin, who pointed out that scientists first developed
them during the 1988 presidential campaign of then-Massachusetts Gov. Michael
Dukakis.
While the silence of the Democratic Party in recent weeks
seems to bolster theories of the party’s nonexistence, she said, there are
still some nagging pieces of evidence to the contrary, such as the perpetually
outspoken DNC chairman, former Vermont Gov. Howard Dean.
“I’ve discussed the Howard Dean phenomenon with my
colleagues,” Dr. Drazin said. “And it’s the consensus of the scientific
community that there is no logical explanation for Howard Dean.”
(source)
Saturday, September 24

Advice To Mr. Bush From a Member of the 'Reality-Based' Community
by
Trish Nelson
on Sat 24 Sep 2005 11:01 AM CDT
Advice To Mr. Bush From a Member of the 'Reality-Based' Community
HBO: Real Time with Bill Maher
contributed by Boris Botero
Bill Maher's closing words from a recent Real Time With Bill
Maher show.
"Mr. [Bush],
this job can't be fun for you any more.
There's no more money to spend - you used up all of that. You can't start another war because you used
up the army. And now, darn the luck, the
rest of your term has become the Bush family nightmare: helping poor people.
Listen to your Mom.
The cupboard's bare, the credit cards maxed out. No one's speaking to you. Mission
accomplished.
"Now
it's time
to do what you've always done best: lose
interest and walk away. Like you did
with your military service and the oil company and the baseball
team. It's time.
Time to move on and try the next fantasy job. How about cowboy or
space man? Now I know what you're saying: there's so many
other things that you...could involve yourself in.
Please don't. I know, I
know. There's a lot left to do. There's a war with Venezuela. Eliminating the sales tax on yachts. Turning the space program over to the
church. And Social Security to Fannie
Mae. Giving embryos the vote.
"But, Sir, none
of that is going to happen now.
Why? Because you govern like
Billy Joel drives. You've performed so
poorly I'm surprised that you haven't given yourself a medal. You're a catastrophe that walks like a
man. Herbert Hoover was a [lousy] president, but even he never conceded
an entire city to rising water and snakes.
"On your watch,
we've lost almost all of our allies, the surplus, four airliners, two trade
centers, a piece of the Pentagon and the City of New
Orleans. Maybe
you're just not lucky. I'm not saying
you don't love this country. I'm just
wondering how much worse it could be if you were on the other side.
"So, yes, God
does speak to you. What he is saying is:
'Take a hint.' "
(source)
Last Chance to Vote!
You have until
4:00 today (Saturday, September 24th) to vote for two great Iowa
candidates for the Democracy for America endorsement. Click here to vote for Dave Loebsack (2nd District) and Bruce Braley (1st
District). You do not have to live in either district to
vote.
Saturday, September 10

Jon Stewart Lets Bush Have It
by
Linda Thieman
on Sat 10 Sep 2005 07:16 PM CDT
Jon Stewart Lets Bush Have It
Yeah,
Jon Stewart thinks judging Arabian horses is excellent preparation for
running the Federal Emergency Management Agency. What? Me, I wonder
just how many emergencies Arabian horses can have?
See the four-and-a-half minute clip from The Daily Show here.
You'll probably have to use Internet Explorer to get this clip to play.
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