Destitute But Still A Believer In 'Intelligent Design'MinutemanMedia.Org – op-ed voices of reason
by Donald Kaul
Donald Kaul recently retired as Washington columnist for the Des Moines Register.
I’ve been retired five years now (I only write this column as a hobby and to make the world a better place) and I couldn’t be happier. When my former colleagues ask me the secret of my success I always tell them: Preparation.
A few years before your intended date of retirement, begin to slack off on the job. You will be amazed how few people notice. All those years you thought you were under-appreciated? You really were. You’re bosses never noticed what you were doing so when you stop doing it they still won’t notice.
And if they do, they’ll attribute it to you slowing down with age.
The thing you have to remember when contemplating retirement is that you are going to need about twice as much money as you think you will. There are several ways to secure retirement funds.
• Be born rich. Most people with a lot of money were born with a lot of money. It may not buy happiness but it gets further up the road than poverty does.
• Marry someone with a lot of money. This could range from a spouse who is heir to a chain of department stores to a person whose father owns a liquor store. Happiness comes in all sizes.
• Win the lottery. I know, you keep hearing stories of people whose lives are ruined by winning great riches in the lottery. Don’t believe it.
And last of the keys to a successful retirement is, of course, health. Fortunately, our Republican friends in Congress have presented us with a new health care program that includes a prescription drug benefit.
Simply stated, it says that if you are currently over 65 and have an income of more than $37,942 a year, adjusted for inflation, and are enrolled in both Part A and Part B of Medicare but do not have a previously diagnosed drug benefit you will be able to get a federal subsidy to your insurance premiums if there are two or more drivers in the family and you haven’t had an accident in two years.
If you make less than $12,473 a year, however, you would be well advised to find yourself a busy corner and sit there with a tin cup and a sign that says “Destitute but still a believer in Intelligent Design.”
And that’s pretty much my approach to retirement. It works for me; it should work for you.
(click here to read the entire column)
Don Kaul is a two-time Pulitzer Prize-losing
