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Main Page  »  Humor
View Article  Hey, Let's Outsource Health Care to India!
Hey, Let's Outsource Health Care to India!

by Susan Dentzer, Health Correspondent for "The NewsHour With Jim Lehrer" on PBS

The Washington Post
October 31, 2004

It's the Taj Mahal of Health Insurance Schemes
By Susan Dentzer

(Following are excerpts from Susan Dentzer's response to a Washington Post news story of an uninsured carpenter from Durham, N.C. who outsourced his own heart surgery to India, at a cost of $10,000, including transportation. He could not afford the $200,000 his surgery would have cost in this country.)

Good grief, why didn't someone think of this earlier! Forty-five million Americans lack health insurance, and covering every one of them would be costly. Why not outsource them all to India?

Opponents will immediately say this idea is impractical. I say, don't be health coverage girlie men! First, not all the uninsured would have to travel to India to get health care. For example, when an uninsured person first got the sniffles, he or she could pick up the phone and talk with someone at a call center in, say, Bangalore. An Indian nurse making $10 a day would listen (sympathetically, of course) and offer advice.

For those uninsured in need of hands-on medical care, here's an idea: What if some of those failing U.S. airlines converted to running medical air shuttle services between, say, New York and New Delhi, or Boston and Bombay? Uncle Sam could hire them as private contractors, then pay them to ferry the uninsured back and forth.

The more I think about this idea, the better I like it. Just imagine all the problems it would solve: No more overcrowded emergency rooms choked with uninsured patients. No more worries about a nursing shortage; by transferring our patients to India, we'd outsource nursing care there, too. Hospitals and doctors here would be freed up to do what makes most sense for them economically: treat well-insured patients at steep prices - even to the point of giving them care that they probably don't need! Perform the most lucrative elective surgeries on relatively healthy patients, rather than giving high-cost care to the sickest loss leaders!

We all know the uninsured are a terrible problem, an embarrassment, really, for such a rich country as ours. Every other major industrialized nation has figured out how to provide health coverage to most, if not all, of its citizens. At last, here's a twist on globalization that could really work for everybody. So let's get started. Who says Americans can't take care of their own?

View Article  Michael Moore: 17 Reasons Not To Slit Your Wrists
17 Reasons Not To Slit Your Wrists

by Michael Moore

11/5/04

Dear Friends,

Ok, it sucks. Really sucks. But before you go and cash it all in, let's, in the words of Monty Python, 'always look on the bright side of life!' There IS some good news from Tuesday's election.

Here are 17 reasons not to slit your wrists:

1. It is against the law for George W. Bush to run for president again.

2. Bush's "victory" was the NARROWEST win for a sitting president since Woodrow Wilson in 1916.

3. The only age group in which the majority voted for Kerry was young adults (Kerry: 54%, Bush: 44%), proving once again that your parents are always wrong and you should never listen to them.

4. In spite of Bush's win, the majority of Americans still think the country is headed in the wrong direction (56%), think the war wasn't worth fighting (51%), and don't approve of the job George W. Bush is doing (52%). (Note to foreigners: Don't try to figure this one out.  It's an American thing, like Pop Tarts.)

5. The Republicans will not have a filibuster-proof 60-seat majority in the Senate. If the Democrats do their job, Bush won't be able to pack the Supreme Court with right-wing ideologues. Did I say "if the Democrats do their job?" Um, maybe better to scratch this one.

6. Michigan voted for Kerry! So did the entire Northeast, the birthplace of our democracy. So did 6 of the 8 Great Lakes States. And the whole West Coast! Plus Hawaii. Ok, that's a start. We've got most of the fresh water, all of Broadway, and Mt. St. Helens. We can dehydrate them or bury them in lava. And no more show tunes!

7. Once again we are reminded that the buckeye is a nut, and not just any old nut - a poisonous nut. A great nation was felled by a poisonous nut. May Ohio State pay dearly this Saturday when it faces Michigan.

8. 88% of Bush's support came from white voters. In 50 years, America will no longer have a white majority. Hey, 50 years isn't such a long time! If you're ten years old and reading this, your golden years will be truly golden and you will be well cared for in your old age.

9. Gays, thanks to the ballot measures passed on Tuesday, cannot get married in 11 new states.  Just think of all those wedding gifts we won't have to buy now.

10. Five more African Americans were elected as members of Congress, including the return of Cynthia McKinney of Georgia. It's always good to have more blacks in there fighting for us and doing the job our candidates can't.

11. The CEO of Coors was defeated for Senate in Colorado. Drink up!

12. Admit it: We like the Bush twins and we don't want them to go away.

13. At the state legislative level, Democrats picked up a net of at least 3 chambers in Tuesday's elections. Of the 98 partisan-controlled state legislative chambers (house/assembly and senate), Democrats went into the 2004 elections in control of 44 chambers, Republicans controlled 53 chambers, and 1 chamber was tied. After Tuesday, Democrats now control 47 chambers, Republicans control 49 chambers, 1 chamber is tied and 1 chamber (Montana House) is still undecided.

14. Bush is now a lame duck pResident. He will have no greater moment than the one he's having this week. It's all downhill for him from here on out - and, more significantly, he's just not going to want to do all the hard work that will be expected of him. It'll be like everyone's last month in 12th grade - you've already made it, so it's party time! Perhaps he'll treat the next four years like a permanent Friday, spending even more time at the ranch or in Kennebunkport. And why shouldn't he? He's already proved his point, avenged his father and kicked our ass.

15. Should Bush decide to show up to work and take this country down a very dark road, it is also just as likely that either of the following two scenarios will happen: a) Now that he doesn't ever need to pander to the Christian conservatives again to get elected, someone may whisper in his ear that he should spend these last four years building "a legacy" so that history will render a kinder verdict on him and thus he will not push for too aggressive a right-wing agenda; or b) He will become so cocky and arrogant - and thus, reckless - that he will commit a blunder of such major proportions that even his own party will have to remove him from office.

16. There are nearly 300 million Americans - 200 million of them of voting age. We only lost by three and a half million! That's not a landslide - it means we're almost there. Imagine losing by 20 million. If you had 58 yards to go before you reached the goal line and then you barreled down 55 of those yards, would you stop on the three yard line, pick up the ball and go home crying - especially when you get to start the next down on the three yard line? Of course not! Buck up! Have hope! More sports analogies are coming!!!

17. Finally and most importantly, over 55 million Americans voted for the candidate dubbed "The #1 Liberal in the Senate." That's more than the total number of voters who voted for either Reagan, Bush I, Clinton or Gore. Again, more people voted for Kerry than Reagan. If the media are looking for a trend it should be this - that so many Americans were, for the first time since Kennedy, willing to vote for an out-and-out liberal. The country has always been filled with evangelicals - that is not news. What IS news is that so many people have shifted toward a Massachusetts liberal. In fact, that's BIG news. Which means, don't expect the mainstream media, the ones who brought you the Iraq War, to ever report the real truth about November 2, 2004. In fact, it's better that they don't. We'll need the element of surprise in 2008.

Feeling better? I hope so. As my friend Mort wrote me yesterday, "My Romanian grandfather used to say to me, 'Remember, Morton, this is such a wonderful country - it doesn't even need a president!'"

But it needs us. Rest up.

Yours,

Michael Moore
MMFlint@aol.com
www.michaelmoore.com


View Article  Something for Everyone: Polls and Humor
Something for Everyone: Polls and Humor

by Linda Thieman

Here at Blog for Iowa, we try to take into account differences in coping styles and temperament.  To that end, I'm offering up a couple of link suggestions to help you deal with the nervous energy that no doubt is plaguing many of us before Tuesday's big election.

But first, let me update you on my absentee ballot status.

First thing this morning, I made a polite phone call to the Buena Vista County Auditor.

"Hello," I said, "Is this the Department of Losing My Absentee Ballot?"

The lady at the other end of the line was very kind.

She replied, "No, honey, I think that's next door.  You need the Department of Lost, Misplaced, and Democratic Absentee Ballots.  I'll transfer you over."

I thanked her most sincerely.

Long story short, our absentee ballots had arrived, one day after we mailed them.  So, we're good to go and I heard later in the day that the website that the Dems use to track absentee ballots has now been updated by the county, not to mention post-dated.

So, another crisis averted.

To The Links

Suggestion One:  If you are the kind of person who wants some kind of reassurance, I might suggest you pour over the final poll numbers and the interpretations provided at The Emerging Democratic Majority website.  You can always get the straight scoop from Ruy Teixeira, void of the usual disinformation provided by the GOP cable news networks.  And it's looking pretty good for Kerry, too.

Suggestion Two:  Everyone knows that I just love the Woodbury County Dems' website.  I mean, come on, how can you NOT love a website whose motto is:

The Woodbury County Democratic Party...
We're as Fair and Balanced as Fox "News."
They distort... You Decide!

Rick updated his Late Night Humor page on October 29th, so if you're in the mood for a good laugh and don't want to get overly analytical with polling data and such, I might suggest you give the Woodbury County Dems' website a try.

OK, just one joke for good measure:

“Earlier today, John Kerry went hunting for geese in Ohio, but Bush says Kerry only did it for the photo op. The weird part is that Bush said this while wearing a flight suit and standing on the deck of an aircraft carrier.”
--Conan O’Brien

Rest up if you can - tomorrow's a big day!

Mwah!

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