To the editor,

This is all too much and I think that our gourmet governor of Iowa has displayed such a capacity for delivering delightfully embellished oneliners about pink slime that he should henceforth be known as Terrance O’Branstad, and that Holy Week forever more be Holy Cow Week.

Have you ever in your life had so much fun on the eve of Good Friday? As a faithful Irish Catholic, I want to tell you, O’B’s comments on “Lean (but not mean), Highly Textured Beef” eclipses every good story that I have ever heard at any wake that I have ever merrily attended—talk about a prodigious capacity to improve on the truth, would you believe it?

If himself is going to next go on Saturday Night Live to kiss the blarney stone, maybe the Fighting Irish of Notre Dame would let him borough to wear their leprechaun of mascot’s green outfit—he could put up his dukes and say, “I’m a fightin’ for pink slime.”

But, should the label say “Pink Slime” or “Lean, Finely Textured,  Beef?”

If one has ever worked in or toured what use to be called a slaughter house, or just read Upton Sinclair’s muckraking novel, The Jungle, he or she might think of some very descriptive names for what gets ground up and put into what needs to get well ammoniated before it is sent out to be consumed.

In pursuit of his own muckraking, our leading Iowa citizen says he wants a congressional inquiry into what prompted complaints about a meat product that some call “pink slime.”

And after the governor’s promotion of how much better PS is than prime meat (PM), it sounds like schools ought to throw out the ground beef and only feed the kids the filler—this ought to also help employment numbers in factories that make old-fashioned hamburger helper.

This promotion of PS over PM gives an imaginative conservative twist to “throwing out the baby with the bath water.”

Throw out the baby and drink the bath water.

Sam