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The Congressman and Abramoff (as told by Dr Seuss)

  The Congressman and Abramoff (As Told by Dr. Seuss)


Thanks to Jim Nickel for sharing this.
 

That Abramoff!

That Abramoff!
I do not like that Abramoff!

“Would you like to play some golf?”

I do not want to play some golf.
I do not want to, Abramoff.

“We could fly you there for free.
Off to Scotland, by the sea.”

I do not want to fly for free.
I don't like Scotland by the sea.
I do not want to play some golf.
I do not want to, Abramoff.

“Would you, could you, take this bribe?
Could you, would you, for the tribe?”

I would not, could not, take this bribe.
I could not, would not, for the tribe.

“If we strong armed the corporations
Into giving you donations?
They'd be funneled to your PAC.
Would you then cut us some slack?”

I would not, could not, cut you slack.
I do not care about my PAC.
I do not want to play some golf.
I do not want to, Abramoff.

“A plane! A plane! A plane! A plane!
Would you, could you, for a plane?”

I could not, would not, for a plane.
Not for a bribe, not for the tribe.
Not for your corporate donations.
Not for my PAC, not for some slack.
Not from ANY schmoe named Jack.

“Would you help us buy some ships
Perfect for quick gambling trips?
Talk to people in the know
For a little quid pro quo?
Oh come now, don't be such a snob.
Let us give your wife a job.”

I will not help you buy some ships.
I do not wish for gambling trips.
My wife she does not need a job
Even if she is a snob.
I do not like bribes, can't you see?
Why won't you please just let me be?

“You do not like bribes, so you say.
Try them, try them, and you may.
Try them and you may, I say.”

Jack, if you will just let me be
I will try them, then you'll see.

Say…. I do like playing golf!
I like it, I do, Abramoff!
I do like Scotland by the sea.
It's such a thrilling place to be!
And so I will take this large bribe.
And I will help the indian tribe.
And I will take your large donations
From all your big corporations.
And I will help you buy some ships.
And I will take quick gambling trips.
Say, I'll give anyone the shaft
As long as it involves some graft!

I do so like playing golf!
Thank you! Thank you,
Abramoff!

3 Responses to “The Congressman and Abramoff (as told by Dr Seuss)”

  • Anonymous:

    “You do not like bribes, so you say. Try them, try them, and you may. Try them and you may, I say.” – so true, you have to try it once and like and then you'll be sick forever.

  • Anonymous:

    Thanks Trish, I thought we could use a little levity considering the extend of corruption oozing out of Washington these days. I don't know whether to laugh or cry anymore.
    Caroline

  • Anonymous:

    I love it! Great post, Caroline!

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